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In Retrospect

Experience comprises illusions lost, rather than wisdom gained.

                                                                               Joseph Roux

So, can anyone put down something they have personally learned in the four years in one post ? I am going to attempt just that with a bit of personal experience involved. For four years, four thoughts. That’s it.

Let’s roll.

1. I have No Idea how Someone Else Feels.

 Every year and every batch gladly proclaim : “We rock” , “Batch of X is the greatest” etc. I stopped doing it for the reason that I have absolutely no idea whatsoever how somebody else has gone through all this. They might have had the greatest time or were sunken into abyss the whole time. We have all been thinking from our own perspective our whole life. May be we feel that and showcase it, but almost everytime it is far from truth. Read the brilliant article by David Foster Wallace on this here.

2. The Best Things Don’t Happen to the Best People Always.

I have seen it many a times. Someone who has worked really hard fails to get an output. People who don’t deserve a thing are hailed! The fact is that these things are one off things, but gets repeated all the time. All I can do is to make sure when I think I deserve anything, I shouldn’t repent not getting it and all the same time worrying and bitching about others for things that has happened to them.

3. The World is Biased.

When I came to college, I had an initial goal of knowing everyone in my year, at least to an extent. Now, it seems a really far-fetched idea. While some don’t care, with others it seems to be that the conversations don’t work out well. Did you read what I just said? That’s the bias(from my side) I am talking about.

What threw me off was the close circle of friends each person has. It seems that there are well-defined boundaries which are rigidly protected. So don’t be upset when what really deserves to be done can’t be because of the inherent complexity that arises out of friendships. Just use it to your advantage[see P.S Note #1]

4. Knowing when I have Stumbled.

Alan Kay once mentioned, “Perspective is worth 80 IQ points”. This lovely quote applies to anyone involved in a research and stuck in a problem to a student who has made a move but is unsure of it. The ‘move’ can be anything from poking the nose in the middle of someone else’s conversation to whether does it really make any sense about a question to someone. Backtracking is one thing no one tell about because going back is not particularly entertained in the modern world.

Lastly as a bonus, very few people take anything seriously as every one is bored of their existence and constantly upset about their lives. That’s why we are always wanting to be with the person who is ‘funny’ or in need of jokes just to laugh. In all our lives, it’s the one thing look towards. So the next time you want to speak about anything, put it in funny terms. In all probability, everyone around will like it.

P.S : There a few countable things that have turned the tide for me. Here it goes.

1. Gregory Rader’s answer on Quora.

The solution for the INTP is to accept the reality that they do need social interaction and meaningful relationships in order to live fulfilled lives.  Having established that conviction, the research project can begin.  INTPs will intellectually study social dynamics in the same way they would any other subject.  Eventually they will construct mental models that are personally satisfying, allowing them to reengage with the social world and comprehensively explain/justify their mode of doing so.  One of the interesting results of this learning curve is that INTPs can be grouped into two relatively distinct categories:

  • those who are painfully socially awkward
  • those who have gone down the rabbit hole and who can deconstruct social dynamics far more effectively than the people for whom it came naturally

2. These sentences in Quiet by Susan Cain:

But how to get from A to B? “I studied social dynamics, I guarantee more than anyone you’ve ever met,” Alex told me. He observed the way people talked, the way they walked—especially male dominance poses. He adjusted his own persona, which allowed him to go on being a fundamentally shy, sweet kid, but without being taken advantage of. “Any hard thing where you can get crushed, I was like, ‘I need to learn how to do this.’ So by now I’m built for war. Because then people don’t screw you.”

Alex also took advantage of his natural strengths. “I learned that boys basically do only one thing: they chase girls. They get them, they lose them, they talk about them.

3. This post on lastpsych especially these words at the end:

“But… why am I this way?”  That question is a narcissistic defense.  It doesn’t want an answer, it wants you to keep asking the question. 

 “I’m a good person, I just am making bad choices.”  Wrong.  You’re not a good person until you make good choices. Until then you are chaos.

 And you know it.

4. This question and the comments on MetaFilter. Specifically this line:

Even if you master a certain domain that gives you cachet within a certain sphere, there are other domains and other spheres, and you will never master them all.

All these because of a simple and free scientific test I took months ago understanding really what I am. Do you really know who you are ? Go find out now.

P.P.S : Put those belief in the character traits of a person based on constellation signs to the dustbin.

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